Alien: Covenant.

Directed by: Ridley Scott.

Wow, so, huh. I have a lot of feelings.


I just went and saw Alien: Covenant. First off, I am a massive fan of the Alien franchise. I love the movies, soundtracks, Sig Weav (Sigourney Weaver), Alien: Isolation, merchandise, and xenomorphs in general. Ridley Scott is also pretty cool, as long as his plans for a Gladiator 2 don’t work out.

I was really, really excited for this film, especially when I found out that a new type of Alien, the neomorph was being introduced and featured in Alien: Covenant.

No joke, I actually went and re-watched the whole franchise. And, as I had never seen Alien vs. Predator, I went and watched that. But since I had never seen Predator, and wanted to fully understand AVP, I watched Arnold battle it out in South America. (BTW, I thought Predator was pretty good, though it was the most masculine thing my eyes have ever witnessed). But back to this film.


There was a lot riding on this film, and I had a lot of expectations. I really wanted to know more about the Creators, my dream is basically to be Elizabeth Shaw (or Noomi Rapace). Like Shaw, I wanted to know why the Creators made us, and why they chose to destroy us. Prometheus left a lot of questions unanswered, and Alien: Covenant‘s solution was to IGNORE ALL OF IT.


SAME. ^^^

Like, basically all of it.

Ridley Scott, all I wanted was a good plot line.

The premise of Alien: Covenant was almost pulled-off. What they came up with almost worked. Almost. It was still interesting, I enjoyed it. But it was predictable. And this word, predictable, is the downfall of the franchise. It’s become their Achilles’ heel.

More important: David, why are you such a dick?

Also, spoiler alert. Obviously.


The neomorphs, ya looked weird. Pretty human-looking. Would not want to be buds with you.


The pros: Danny McBride. Surprisingly fit well in this film, really enjoyed him.

But, David. David! Why? Why?

You dropped a pathogen bomb on the creators. You didn’t properly cite your quotation (Shelley, not Bryon). And, worst of all, YOU KILLED SHAW. You say you loved her, that she showed you the most kindness out of anyone. And, you, what? Opened her up like an experiment? Infected her with one of your experiments? This was so disappointing.

Again, this was almost good. But the entire premise was wrong. This whole plot shouldn’t have happened. Why?

Because: they ignored Prometheus. When filmmakers start developing another addition to a franchise, it’s a red flag when you ignore the past movie.

As a consumer, I was alerted when I saw the title had been changed from Alien: Paradise Lost, to Alien: Covenant. I am pretty knowledgeable regarding this franchise, I know (and have read) a lot about the background of the story. Ridley Scott is really into incorporating a type of religion into the base of the story. Alien is really complex, there is a lot going on in the background. It’s part of the reason why I love the franchise.

I didn’t hate this film. But I was disappointed that instead of answering questions that I’ve been waiting years for, Alien: Covenant went for horror over meaning. Xenomorphs, and the horror they present, cannot be used an infinite number of times. I’m not sure how I feel about this film, but it was nice to revisit the story and setting again.

Shaw, Noomi Rapace, you deserved better. David, fuck you.

Ridley Scott, this franchise deserves more.

Just for fun:

‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’


All the best,



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